I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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