We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
