Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
