Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
In America we eat man semen.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
