god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
what day is it and did you see me today?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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