Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
