We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
