you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
