you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
