My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
A+ Viking dick
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
