How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
