we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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