One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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