I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
