Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
