Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
