I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
