That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
