Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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