dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm like, not good at living.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
