y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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