I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
