Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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