But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
