He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
