did you get engaged???
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
