He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
