We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
