i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
