Define "chronic" masturbator.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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