He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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