Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
barbara walters just said penis...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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