I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
