maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Boobs speak an international language.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
