I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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