Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
