I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
