Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
