I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Everclear isn't food dammit
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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