I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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