FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
