what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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