Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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