Im at strip club and am horny
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Randomize
