I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
