I bet he comes in French.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
