Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
