i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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