Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
