i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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