i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
