tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
